Years ago when I was going through my coaching training, my very astute leader, Elaine, picked up on my need for perfect.  I don’t’ remember how the conversation started, but I do remember wearing sandals and my toenail polish was chipped. During our conversation, she looked down at my foot and said, “I’ll bet that chipped polish is driving you crazy, isn’t it?” Boy, did she have me pegged.  I hadn’t had time to deal with it before class, and it had really, really bugged me to leave the house with it like that.

Shortly after that incident, I learned about Flylady, and subscribed to her email blasts for a time.  I credit her with helping me develop routines at home that I relied on for years.  What really stuck was how well she understood that perfectionism keeps us stuck.  It keeps us from starting something if we don’t have time to do it perfectly, it raises the bar higher than we can ever reach and makes us less satisfied with our lives. 

Back then, I wouldn’t clean my floors unless I could sweep and mop everything at once, shake out all of the rugs, and put clean ones down.  The result of this was that I didn’t do it very often, so instead of getting the worst of it taken care of and looking decent, I didn’t do it at all.  It looked and felt terrible, hardly perfect. Sometimes that old saying,” if you’re going to do it, do it right,” keeps us from doing it at all. 

As always, becoming aware is the beginning to making change, then redirecting ourselves without judgment.  I still have to challenge myself to let go of this mental clutter years after becoming aware of it.  You may have watched my Breather videos and noticed that they are not perfect.  Some may say they are not very professional.  But I knew that if I waited until I thought they were perfect, I would never post one.  So there I am, scratching my leg and all, and actually very happy that I can put something out in the world without worrying about being perfect.  Not pretending to be perfect is great progress.  Elaine, I’ve come a long way from chipped toenail polish making me crazy!

So how is the mental clutter of perfect showing up in your life? What are you not doing because you don’t have the time to “do it right?”  Find some task or project at work or at home and just start, and quiet this harsh critic in your head.  Any progress is good, getting unstuck is even better.

Question:  I collect magazine articles and have files upon files of them.  What should I do with them?

Response:

It sounds to me that you like collecting information.  Maybe you like to “know” things and pass information along to others.  Or you like to have the info “in case” you might need it.  Maybe it’s a bit of both.

Clutter is defined as something you do not love, that is not useful and that you do not have room for in your space.  With that in mind, I have some questions for you:

·   Do you actually refer to the articles? If not, is it because you can’t find anything or you never actually need to use the info?

·   Do you have room for your articles or is your collection outgrowing or has already outgrown its space?

I once worked with someone who had an extensive magazine collection.  Someone asked her for place card ideas for a party, and she brought in a stack of ideas culled from her collection.  I was blown away. I have never had the patience to maintain magazines articles to any extent.  For me, they were clutter; to her they were very useful.

Be honest with yourself about how useful your articles are to you.  If you can’t find what you’re looking for but have actually needed the info, it’s time to set up a system that works for you. By asking me your question, I’m guessing that the collection is either not useful to you or you have too much of it.

“In case” are code words for fear.  You just might be collecting information to make you feel like you are safe, “If I ever need to know this, I’m covered!”  It would be ideal to address the emotion and not collect the stuff, or you set yourself up for needing more and more stuff to cover the fear.

To start clearing and set up a system that works for you, I would suggest this approach:

1. Pull all of your information together in one place.  You will need some time to tackle this so find a space where you can leave your project when you’re not working on it.
2. Have some supplies ready: bags for recycling, file folders – don’t worry if they aren’t nice ones at this time, paper for noting categories.
3. Set your timer for 15-minutes so you don’t get overwhelmed. Take a deep breath and start!
4. Go through the files/piles.  If you know you don’t even need to look at it because it’s so outdated, don’t hesitate: recycle it. 
5. As you sort, note on your sheet of paper what categories your articles seem to fall under: travel, recipes, home improvement, etc.  As you sort, keep ONLY what is vital.  So much information is readily available on the internet, so make sure what you are keeping is useful.  Sort your articles into your category piles, keep noting any new categories.
6. Do this in 15-minute increments until you are done.  Once you get going, you may keep going for a longer stretch as long as you don’t feel overwhelmed.
7. Once you have sorted through the whole collection, evaluate how much you have decided to keep, and congratulate yourself for everything you have gotten rid of!  Yay!  Chances are, you are still keeping too much.  Take a quick second pass through the piles now that you have a more discriminating eye and recycle any more you won’t truly need.
8. Now that you see how much you are keeping and in what general  categories, you can label files with the appropriate categories.  This would be the time to have nice folders and labels.  It’s much more fun to file and retrieve items when they are aesthetically pleasing.  And filing needs to be FUN, or at least not pure drudgery to keep up with it.  And trust me, if you continue to pull articles, you need to keep filing them in their categories or you are participating in a waste of your time and energy.
9. Use your collection to help others and yourself. Trust the universe to provide what you need when you need it so you don’t have to keep things in fear.

Until this past weekend, I had pockets of memorabilia throughout my house.  All of it was contained, nothing I considered out of hand, but I hadn’t looked at some of it in years.  I decided I wanted to pull it all into one place and go through it to see what still had meaning.  Key concept here: Still had meaning, not meaningful years ago.

So what did I find? I found the very first real, store-bought -from-Hallmark valentine I got from a boy in 4th grade.  It gave me loads of smiles then.  And I’m sure the basketball tournament ticket stub from 8th grade was once very meaningful.  I’m guessing someone significant made meaningful eye contact with me at one, or maybe two, games. 

What did I feel for both things now? Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

Why did I still have them (and more of their brothers and sisters)? Because I hadn’t looked through the spiral-bound School Record pockets since… I honestly can’t remember.  Or the jewelry boxes in deep storage.  Or the baby clothes I thought I had already given away.

It was great fun to do this with a friend.  She brought bins of cards, letters, pictures, and we hooted with each other over some really funny stuff.  We lit a roaring fire and burned some things, recycled, pitched, and packed other things for goodwill. 

It wasn't easy.  Some things were very sticky.  When in doubt I kept some things and got rid of others.  There are no right answers. 

At the end of the night as we were sipping gin and tonics in front of the mound of burning ash, we thought these things were worth keeping in mind:

1. Just because you have space for it doesn’t mean it isn’t clutter.  Storing things that have no meaning  anymore is pointless, and it takes up room that could be used for something better. 
2. Set up systems for incoming memorabilia.  I now have large envelopes where I will store cards from my children, and they each have a container for school memorabilia.
   
3. Set limits to how much to keep and store. When the container/drawer/closet is full, it will be a reminder to purge again.  Remember, some of it won’t be meaningful any more.  Trust me on this.
4. Consider our children's future when saving things "for" them.  We're usually saving it for ourselves.  Let's make it easier on them by not having box after box of old clothes, dolls, cards and figurines stored for them. Yes, I know grandma made that dress for me when I was four, and it was darling.  But the chance of my own daughter wearing it 30+ years later was nil. Now I've put it in the goodwill pile after all these years of storing and moving.  It's just fabric.  It's not Grandma.
   

Of all the things we keep, I think memorabilia is the most ripe for feelings of guilt.  I truly believe that we are most restored and at peace in our homes when we are surrounded by things we use or love, and we cannot be if we are keeping things out of obligation.  The more we release and let go of these things, the more free we will feel, and the less sticky everything becomes.

My husband and I both enjoy cooking, so it’s easy for condiments to accumulate, hot sauces, oils, Thai flavors, you name it.  I decided to go through them yet again not long ago, thinking I could make a pretty quick job of it since it hadn’t been very long.  “Very” is quite subjective though, is it not?  I think it had been about six months, which didn’t seem that long to me.

Once I got started it didn’t take long to find things to clear out.  I was actually quite surprised that I found as much as I did (six or seven things, or so).  As I shut the frig, after clearing and wiping down the door shelves, I wondered why I still had so many that either we didn’t use or had expired. 

I realized that I was living in “just in case.” What if we need or want______(fill in the blank)?  Also, so many of us have been taught that it’s a shame to waste food.  That gets in the way, too. When I was growing up, and we were putting leftovers away, my dad would say, “Shall I throw it now or later?”

But throwing it now or later – what’s the difference?  We sometimes use the crutch of wanting something to be spoiled beyond use before we give ourselves permission to get rid of it.  Let’s save ourselves the guilt and energy drain and deal with it now.  And maybe not buy any more condiments (or, fill in the blank) for awhile.

I opened that frig right back up and threw out three more things, things I just felt guilty I wasn’t using, and things that I was just going to throw out six months from now.  Who knew what oyster sauce could teach us?

Two years ago I read that purpose is where deep gladness meets the world's needs and knew that I had to unearth this gladness.  This summer I got a chance to make a wholehearted effort at this when my 13-year job in Human Resources came to an end. 

My big dragon to slay was thinking that my talents weren't tangible, marketable, a "real job."  I have spent the last five months "unmaking a living," as my favorite poet David Whyte has put it.  This time has been such a gift.  I've cleared, sorted, reflected, completed undone things, and reconnected with family and friends. 

Now, I am ready to offer to the world what I do best: help people clear the clutter in their lives to make room for the good stuff.  I've been doing it all my life.  Turns out my gladness has been there all along.  I just needed to make room for it.